The Fake News: Dustin Pedroia Changes Legal Name to 'Dustin Pedroia, AL MVP'
Shortly after he was named American League Most Valuable Player on Wednesday, Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia celebrated his newest achievement by heading to Suffolk Superior Court to file the necessary papers to legally change his name to “Dustin Pedroia, AL MVP.” (Posted: Thursday, 20 November 2008 7:42PM)
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The Fake News: Pats Consider Removing Cursed Tiki Idol From Locker Room
As linebacker Adalius Thomas became the latest Patriot to hobble off the field and perhaps onto the Injured Reserve list, team officials this week began to question whether the team should continue to keep a cursed stone Tiki idol in the home locker room. (Posted: 12 November 2008 1:30PM)
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The Fake News: Blue Jays Acquire Lugo After Epstein Out-Bowls Ricciardi
As Major League Baseball’s top executives left town at the conclusion of this year’s annual General Manager’s meetings, reports surfaced late Thursday that one deal had in fact been concluded: the Toronto Blue Jays agreed to acquire shortstop Julio Lugo, including the two years and $18 million remaining on his contract, from the Boston Red Sox, for a player to be named later. The deal was apparently consummated by Sox G.M. Theo Epstein and Blue Jays G.M. J.P. Ricciardi during what was meant to be a friendly bowling tournament at Saddleback Lanes in nearby Mission Viejo. (Posted: Friday, 07 November 2008 12:00PM)
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The Fake News in Brief: Son of Manny Ramirez Found Wandering in Red Sox Clubhous
Red Sox clubhouse workers were surprised to discover one of Manny Ramirez' young sons wandering around the team's locker room this week, nearly three months after the enigmatic outfielder's deadline-day trade to the Los Angeles Dodgers. (Posted: Wednesday, 29 October 2008 6:00PM)
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The Fake News: Every Member of the Red Sox to Have Offseason Surgery
Their World Series dreams dashed by what proved to be an insurmountable rash of injuries, the Red Sox turned their attention this week to getting healthy for the 2009 season. In a press release, team physician Dr. Thomas Gill announced that every player on the 2008 roster, along with most of the coaching staff, will undergo some form of surgery or major medical procedure in the coming months. (Posted: Thursday, 23 October 2008 2:00AM)
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The Fake News: Bruins' Lucic Stays Sharp By Beating Up Friends in Offseason
Second-year Bruins winger Milan Lucic engaged in a unique offseason conditioning program, sharpening his fighting skills by beating up friends, acquaintances, and various family members in his hometown of Vancouver, British Columbia. Also: a history of the bad blood between ALCS combatants The Rays and the Red Sox, and an update in the week-long traffic jam gone bad in which the Patriots find themselves during their West Coast trip. (Posted: Friday, 10 October 12:00PM)
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The Fake News in Brief: Justin Masterson Out For Postseason With Family Trip to
Red Sox rookie reliever Justin Masterson made the shocking announcement that he is being forced to leave the team, likely for the entire 2008 postseason, in order to accompany his family on a previously scheduled trip to Florida’s Walt Disney World resort. (Posted: Wedneday, 01 October 2008 3:26PM)
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The Fake News In Brief: Kevin Garnett Asleep Since June 22
Kevin Garnett suffered from a well-publicized bout of insomnia during the NBA playoffs due to the relentless waves of adrenaline that would wash over him during games. After the Game 6 Finals clincher, he promised ABC sideline reporter Michele Tafoya that he was about ready to "sleep for the rest of the summer." Reports indicate that he has decided to make good on his promise. (Posted: Friday, 26 September 2008 12:13PM)
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Anatomy of a Playoff-Clinching Celebration
The Fake News goes inside the Red Sox celebration of their postseason berth. (Posted: Thursday, 25 September 2008 2:23PM)
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Bruins Star Drops Name at Restaurant, Gets Worse Table
Boston Bruins captain Zdeno Chara was stunned to learn this week that his celebrity cachet was insufficient to garner a choice corner table at a trendy Back Bay restaurant.Making matters worse, after identifying himself as an NHL All-Star, Chara and his guests were made to wait at the bar for over an hour before finally being shoehorned into a heavily trafficked four-top near the men’s room. (Posted: Wednesday, 17 September 2008 4:20PM)
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Lucky Fan Matt Cassel Picked as New Quarterback of Patriots
FOXBORO—For most followers of the New England Patriots, Sunday’s season-ending knee injury to starting quarterback Tom Brady represented a nightmare scenario. But for one lucky fan, the injury to the reigning NFL Most Valuable Player turned out to be a dream come true. (Posted: Wednesday, 10 September 2008 7:16PM)
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Daisuke Apologizes for Economical Outing
Calling himself “disappointed," "embarrassed," and “very, very ashamed," Red Sox pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka was still apologizing on Monday, nearly three days after hurling 104 pitches over eight uncharacteristically efficient shutout innings to beat the Chicago White Sox, 8-0, at Fenway Park Friday night. (Posted: Monday, 01 September 2008 12:12AM)
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Instant Replay Confirms Pedroia Grand Slam Was 'Fricking Awesome'
NEW YORK -- Officials testing Major League Baseball’s new Instant Replay system at Yankee Stadium confirmed that the grand slam hit by Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia on Wednesday night was “fricking awesome". “Hey Gary, get a load of this,” said MLB President Bob DuPuy, motioning for umpiring crew chief Gary Cederstrom to join him at a replay monitor. “Sweet Christmas,” exclaimed Cederstrom, as he watched the ball easily clear the left-center field fence and come to rest in fabled Monument Park. “What an absolute frigging bomb.”..... (Posted: Thursday, 28 August 2008 1:38PM)
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Yankees To Platoon Jason Giambi With Brother, Luigi
NEW YORK -- Fighting for their postseason lives, the third-place New York Yankees took a bold step this week to address their lack of success against left-handed pitching by purchasing the contract of right-handed hitting animated plumber/DH Luigi Giambi from the team’s Double A Marioland affiliate. (Posted: Monday, 25 August 2008 9:12AM)
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Dustin Pedroia: 'I Will Repeat as Rookie of the Year'
BOSTON- Displaying the trademark swagger that has made him a fan favorite, Red Sox 2nd baseman Dustin Pedroia boldly predicted this week that he would end the 2008 season in style-- by winning the American League Rookie of the Year award for an unprecedented second straight season. (Posted: Friday, 22 August 2008 11:48AM)
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RAY ALLEN'S ROUTINE ALLOWS HIM TO REMINISCE ABOUT NBA FINALS AT 3:54 EACH DAY...
HARTFORD, Conn. - Boston Celtics All-Star guard Ray Allen, known for his tireless work ethic and meticulous daily routine, has taken the “admittedly risky” step of slightly altering that routine, allowing himself a seven-minute period each day to reflect on the team’s recent NBA championship. (Posted: Wednesday, 20 August 2008 9:23AM)
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MANNY RAMIREZ SWEARS HE KNOWS THIS NOMAR GUY FROM SOMEWHERE
LOS ANGELES - As the Los Angeles Dodgers celebrated their thrilling 7-6 comeback win over the Philadelphia Phillies last Wednesday, new leftfielder Manny Ramirez was overcome by a strange feeling that he had once seen that night’s hero – shortstop Nomar Garciaparra, who hit a walkoff home run in the bottom of the 9th inning – somewhere before. (Posted: Monday, 18 August 2008 7:01AM)
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